Welcome to Elevator Guy.
Are you being served, Rebecca Slocum?
Second floor … stationery, leather goods, tribal head injuries, cricket bats, film stars, dolphinariums.
Third Floor … Nasal Injuries Hall, "Other" things, Hypocrisy Salad Bar, Merkins & Onepees. Watch your step.
Fourth floor … kiddies' vasectomies…1
Oh dear sir! Do mind Ms. Slocum's pussy! You know how she hates a fuss about her pussy. Watch your step!
Excuse me madam! You have appear to have left your life-time personal integrity in the elevator!
Oh I see, you don't want it any more. I'll donate it to a charity. (Unless they refuse to deal with fiddly small change.)
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 Ex Monty Python